My co-worker's wife is days, or hours, or minutes away from popping out their first baby. So he's had the book What NOT to Name Your Baby lying on his desk lately. Here's the entry for yours truly:
Brian (BREYE-on) Mistaken Messiah. Around 1 BC Brian was accidentally vilified by Roman soldiers looking for a different Jew. On the positive side, your child may always look on the bright side.